Bat's in the belfry?? A Cushion Won't Help...

Okay, this has nothing to do with art but it does have something to do with an animal, so I'm sharing it.

Soooo, my sister and her husband were sitting in the comfort of their livingroom watching TV the other night when my sister noticed something fly by in the house.  Her husband said (screamed??), "That's a bat!!!"  

If it was outside the house, no big deal, but this one was clearly within the confines of the home.  Alarmed, they both jumped up.  I'm not sure where my brother-in-law ended up immediately (likely OUTSIDE, where the bat wasn't) but I know where my sister went because she called me after the incident, to give me a full report.  

For some reason, she and my brother-in-law both felt it was a good idea to each put a couch cushion on their head.  I'm not sure why they felt this was a good idea - perhaps they read it in some obscure "Critter-ridder" magazine...  My brother-in-law DOES have an extensive collection of National Geographics, so maybe it was there that they uncovered this handy nugget.  

Anyway, my sister immediately huddled in the corner of the kitchen...still with a cushion balanced on her head, while she googled "How to get rid of a bat in your house."  As she read, she yelled out the instructions to her husband.  "You need leather gloves!!!!" she hollered,  to which he replied, "I don't have any leather gloves!!!!"  "That's okay!", she yelled, "You can use oven mitts!!!"  

My brother-in-law opened the door to give the bat an exit.  He then entered the kitchen with a towel wrapped around his shoulders - another safety tip you should all tuck away for future reference.  He was no longer wearing a couch cushion on his head but had swapped it for a hat.  I'm not sure what kind of hat but I'm sure he felt the bigger, the better.  His mother is  from south Texas, so perhaps a sombrero? Who knows...

The google instructions further advised to turn off all the lights and scratch at an open exterior door to give the bat a sound to go toward.  This further annoyed my brother-in-law as now moths came inside by the droves but the bat refused to leave.  

I should mention the fact they have a dog.  THe dog was the reason the bat found his way inside in the first place - my sister had left the door ajar for the dog while it went out to pee.  I should also mention the dog was not at all helpful.  It's very old. I believe it slept through most of the fun.   

Anyway, they did not see the bat fly out that night so they closed all the interior doors to keep it out of the bedrooms.    

DAy TWO
The alarm went off.  My brother-in-law got up and my sister stayed asleep.  Tony went downstairs and my sister awoke to to sound of banging...it was my brother-in-law, who spotted the bat in the dining room, and was trying to encourage it's departure from the premises with a broom.  He was unsuccessful.  The bat found somewhere to hide and so did my brother-in-law.  He he hightailed it upstairs, and into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.  Kerry was roused again by his heavy breathing - alas, not the fun kind but the "I'm winded from running" kind.  While in the bedroom, my bother-in-law kindly threw a "protective sheet" over the dog (who continued to sleep through the melee). My sister was left to see to her own safety.    

My brother-in-law went to work and the interior doors were kept shut all day while my sister crept through the house like a prisoner -  hunkered down, sidling along with her back to the walls and a haunted look in her eyes.  

Desperate times call for desperate measures.  The bat was still in the house somewhere, so she blocked off one dining room entrance with a table cloth taped to the door frame and then blocked one kitchen entrance with a blanket nailed to the wall, figuring she could trap it somewhere and catch it wearing the magic protective ovenmitts. She texted her crafty plan to her husband.  The bat refused to cooperate.

Later that the evening, before my brother-in-law was home from work, the bat flew back into the living room.  Once again, my sister donned her protective cushion.  The dog wore one too but was not aware of this, as he continued to sleep.  Again, my sister opened the exterior door, turned off the lights and scratched by the door in an attempt to  lure the flying-rat outside.  Instead, the bat settled comfortably on the curtains in the living room - just hanging there, mocking her.  The dog took advantage of the open door and went out to pee and more moths made there way inside but the bat didn't budge.  

My brother-in-law came home while it was still hanging on the curtains.  He got a hockey stick and  tried poking it to get it to leave. However, it had other plans.  Instead, it moved in behind the curtain rod and everytime he poked it with the hockey stick, the bat stuck it's head up as if to say, "up yours".  They could actually see one of its little feet (hands? claws? paws?) gripping the rod.  I'm sure if it could have, it would have happily flipped them "the bird."  

While my  sister resumed her scratching at the door, my brother-in-law moved the dining room table and in the process, inadvertantly dislodged both curtain rods.  The bat buggered off somewhere else unseen in the house.  Defeated once again, my sister and brother-in-law both went to bed to rest up for the ensuing fight the next day.  The bedroom doors had all been kept closed throughout the day.  

DAY THREE:
The alarm went off, which woke my brother-in-law.  As he opened his eyes, he noticed a silhouette pass  by the window and turned on the light, only to find the bat flying around in the bedroom.  He put a pillow on his head and a cushion on the dog, who continued to sleep.  My sister also continued to sleep but once again, did not have the benefit a protective cushion.  My brother-in-law opened the door and the bat flew out of the bedroom and followed him downstairs to its favorite spot in the dining room. My brother-in-law opened the  exterior door and while in the washroom, they think the bat flew outside!  We have not confirmed this but there's been no sighting in the past few days, so fingers crossed.  

They have both made a vow never to use the backdoor after dark in the future.